new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong