You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Dating After Heartbreak
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?