I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS