Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Green mimosas i think yes
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in