Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...

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(937): pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point... http://tfl.nu/zj6y

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys

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(570): I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys http://tfl.nu/u1dh

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(916): View more from California

Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.

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(916): Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown. http://tfl.nu/0cdq

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(860): View more from Connecticut

She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.

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(860): She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it. http://tfl.nu/dkuo

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(770): View more from Georgia

he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.

(352): View more from Florida

teach me your ways.

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(770): he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it. (352): teach me your ways. http://tfl.nu/5pat

Replies (6) Good night (2851) Bad night (711)
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(205): View more from Alabama

How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?

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(205): How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people? http://tfl.nu/uhl3

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(580): View more from Oklahoma

Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.

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(580): Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service. http://tfl.nu/46gk

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(847): View more from Illinois

I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.

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(847): I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it. http://tfl.nu/yf92

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.

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(724): dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another. http://tfl.nu/986r

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(970): View more from Colorado

The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night

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(970): The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night http://tfl.nu/z7c2

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(240): View more from Maryland

okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.

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(240): okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party. http://tfl.nu/08ru

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(917): View more from New York City

How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?

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(917): How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do? http://tfl.nu/h8p0

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(434): View more from Virginia

It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all

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(434): It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all http://tfl.nu/veuh

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(303): View more from Colorado

I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle

(1-303): View more from Colorado

It's like earning obesity badges

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(303): I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle (1-303): It's like earning obesity badges http://tfl.nu/mpfd

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(919): View more from North Carolina

my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking

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(919): my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking http://tfl.nu/q3af

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