PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
