Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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