worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
