I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
