So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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