ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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