I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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