that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
