I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
