Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
