I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
