Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
