I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
