What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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