Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
