Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
