Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
