Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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