Don't you send me to vm
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
how does that bad decision feel?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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