I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
