If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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