it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
