either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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