I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
