the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
