ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
