is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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