I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
