if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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