thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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