I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
