I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize