dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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