I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize