I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
