I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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