oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize