i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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