i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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