is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize