if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
