Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
