Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
third nipple confirmed
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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