perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
