Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
