My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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