love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize