I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
