1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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