i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
