I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
