I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
