the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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