I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
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but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
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Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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