I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
